Tantra Blog

Friday, July 10, 2009

What lies beyond projection?

I am currently teaching a course called "The Soulmate Within" in which we are exploring the qualities of our inner masculine and feminine, and the meeting of the two. One of the tools we are using is to have a good look at our projections - especially at what we see in those people who are closest to us - that may be holding up a mirror for us of what we are not (yet) seeing in ourselves.

One of the participants wrote to me:

"A question... What happens when you stop projecting (or come close)? Is it possible to not be a mirror? What is that state of being? i.e. what are we moving towards?"

This is a good question, and I answer it here. Yes, it is possible not to live in projection at all. This is called the state of enlightenment. During the journey towards realizing your true self, as one with everything, you will be gradually dropping polarities and illusions that keep you from seeing things for what they are. The masculine-feminine split and our perception of the separation between lover and beloved, is a primary duality that keeps us from total presence. As we peel away the layers of illusion held in this duality, it becomes more and more of a lived realization and a daily reality for us that our soulmates are within - that everything we need is already one with us. The more we live in this realization, the more fulfilled we are. Our relationships can then become a place of overflow. From here, I can love you because it is lovely for me to do so - my fountain overflows. I no longer love you because you are mine or you fulfil my needs (or even my shadow needs). This is a very different way of being in relationship to the previous one. Osho calls it relating rather than being in relationship. There is a quality of intimacy that becomes available to us as a general texture of life, rather than as something reserved for that one special one who is "ours" (in other words, whom we project all our desires on to.)