Tantra Blog

Friday, July 10, 2009

What lies beyond projection?

I am currently teaching a course called "The Soulmate Within" in which we are exploring the qualities of our inner masculine and feminine, and the meeting of the two. One of the tools we are using is to have a good look at our projections - especially at what we see in those people who are closest to us - that may be holding up a mirror for us of what we are not (yet) seeing in ourselves.

One of the participants wrote to me:

"A question... What happens when you stop projecting (or come close)? Is it possible to not be a mirror? What is that state of being? i.e. what are we moving towards?"

This is a good question, and I answer it here. Yes, it is possible not to live in projection at all. This is called the state of enlightenment. During the journey towards realizing your true self, as one with everything, you will be gradually dropping polarities and illusions that keep you from seeing things for what they are. The masculine-feminine split and our perception of the separation between lover and beloved, is a primary duality that keeps us from total presence. As we peel away the layers of illusion held in this duality, it becomes more and more of a lived realization and a daily reality for us that our soulmates are within - that everything we need is already one with us. The more we live in this realization, the more fulfilled we are. Our relationships can then become a place of overflow. From here, I can love you because it is lovely for me to do so - my fountain overflows. I no longer love you because you are mine or you fulfil my needs (or even my shadow needs). This is a very different way of being in relationship to the previous one. Osho calls it relating rather than being in relationship. There is a quality of intimacy that becomes available to us as a general texture of life, rather than as something reserved for that one special one who is "ours" (in other words, whom we project all our desires on to.)


  • At July 10, 2009 at 1:56 PM , Blogger StormCrow said...

    Thank you. I hear you when you say 'it is possible not to be in projection at all' but I wonder about the 'at all'. Isn't that another polarity?

    I think my unacknowledged and unconscious desires are probably to some extent in *all* my interactions. En ek laat my nie vertel dat enige mens op die planeet helemaal sonder unconscious desires is nie... Rather, I think there is a deep rich spectrum. A range of interactions, in which some are heavily laden with projections, and some very little. I think most of my connections, including some very old and longstanding, conscious ones, haver moments when they involve projection, and moments without.

    Rather than striving to live without projection, I strive just be conscious whenever I can of the *possibility* of projection: to wonder in all my interactions, what about what is going on right now is about my stuff, my shadows, my desires, my memories? That feels more grounded. I've never met anyone who lives entirely without projection; if anyone tells me they have managed it, I would be inclined to believe they are deluded. But about one thing I do think I agree: it is when projection ends that real relationship begins; it is when *in love* ceases that real love is possible...

  • At July 13, 2009 at 1:19 AM , Blogger Shakti said...

    Yes, StormCrow, you are not likely to meet many people who are entirely beyond projection, so safer to assume there will be some projection at play. The dynamic that you are familiar with can however change over time... watch the space of the unknown. You are quite right that the aim is not to strive but to become conscious, present in every moment.. I would say also present to experiences that are as yet unfamiliar to you.


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